“It’s a trailer thing” is a phrase I use to mean when someone is indignant at an accusation not because they are innocent, but because they don’t believe it to be possible that their accuser knows the truth. The phrase comes from an incident in my youth.
I had a friend Simon* who found a large metal bar in the woods. Late one night he decided to use it as a lever and managed to tip over and damage a camping trailer in the neighborhood that belonged to someone we didn’t particularly like.
* not his real name, of course
The family who owned the trailer almost immediately called Simon’s parents and informed them of what their son had done. He denied it vehemently but was nevertheless blamed and punished. The conversation we had about it went something like this:
“They called my parents immediately! Can you believe that? There’s no way they saw me do it,” Simon said angrily, pacing back and forth.
I looked at Simon, confused. “But…you did do it.”
“But they didn’t see me do it,” Simon shot back, scowling.
This exchange went on with each of us repeating ourselves but were never able to agree. Simon felt that the call to his parents was unjust and unreasonable because he felt that it wasn’t possible that he had been seen.
We often see Simon’s point of view in relationships. Let’s make up a fictitious couple Clarice and John. John is cheating on Clarice with another woman, but is very careful to cover his tracks. Over time, Clarice knows in her gut that something is wrong and strongly suspects the truth. John reacts with actual outrage when she finally asks him if he’s seeing someone else because he doesn’t feel she has adequate evidence for suspicion.
Sometimes we see events that are accidental “trailer things”, too. Let’s make up a fictitious shoplifter named Mary. Mary steals regularly and has taken thousands of dollars of merchandise over hundreds of small thefts. Finally one day when Mary is actually shopping she is arrested and formally charged by the police because store security thinks they see her take something. Mary feels the arrest and charges are extremely unjust and unreasonable since she didn’t steal that day, even though she has previously stolen many times from that same store.
If you find yourself feeling outrage over accusations that are true, or over persecution that is long overdue, you might want to check yourself. Because it’s a trailer thing.